Zombies make me horny

1. Mantra for a happy life:
a) I get by with a little help from my friends.
b) I get high with a little help from my friends.
c) All my exes changed their sexes.
d) none of the above.

2. None of the above is to All of the below as:
a) Marshmallow Supremes are to Twinkies.
b) I'll call you later as to What's his face?
c) Hot Pockets is to Lean Pockets
d) Jerry Lewis is to Sally Struthers

3. June picks up a quart of milk from the general store for her bedridden kitty. She pays with a 20 dollar bill. Her change would be:
a) Enough to buy a fake gun and hold up a local Claire's Boutique.
b) $16.42
c) In the form of seashells which she would use to invent the 3 Seashell Toiletry Standard used by all futuristic metropolis'.
d) In Pesos. Making it appear to look like a much larger sum of money.

4. In sixteen hundred and fourty two...
a) Columbus smoked the ganja too.
b) No one heard of sniffing glue.
c) Peaches were poisonous and gave you the flu.
d) Chickens had lips and frogs did too.

5. If someone wants to see your "paper" they most likely referring to:
a) Your skin, since you live in a wooden people world.
b) A tool for writing on.
c) A collection of legal documents proving you are licenced to handle kimodo dragons and sparklers at the exact same time.
d) money.

6. When you hear or see the phrase "Live Nude Girls" What is the first thing that you think of?
a) Church has really changed since I was a kid.
b) Damn it! Where the hell are the dead ones?
c) If I am lucky I can get out of here without my mom hearing the stripper music in the background.
d) Zombies make me horny.

7. Put these in the correct order:
a) Scott Baio
b) Dirty Sanchez
c) Hair of the Dog
d) John Stamos

8. If K.I.T.T.'s voice from the Knight Rider television show was replaced with Dr. Phil's voice:
a) Baywatch may have been prevented.
b) Magnum PI would have replaced Higgins with Rick James, changing the name of the show to "I'm Magnum Bitch!"
c) More people would know what Airwolf was.
d) David Hasselhof would be the richest black woman in the world.

9. Time keeps on slippin...
a) into the future.
b) into the past.
c) into my pantyline.
d) into the robot.

10. The next national holiday should be named:
a) Fuck Your Couch Day
b) Gay Day
c) Croquet and Crack Sandwich Day
d) Cartoon Character Awareness Day

11. If you happened to find someone in your bed at night who would it be?
a) Travelocity Gnome
b) Big Buckin Chicken
c) Lee Jeans, Buddy Lee
d) Taco Bell Dog