its not the MSGs either

i find myself sitting in a room full of people, good people too.
not just some random fuckers that you cant trust with your lighter much less your heart
but genuine walk-to-the-ends-of-the-earth people that you love
so i set the scene right?

ok

those people

anyways

i am in a room full of my people, my peeps, my nonbiological family, and i should be feeling great right? no, fuck that. i feel completely and utterly alone. i feel like i want to scream but know i cant because "my people" will then naturally be worried about wittle ol me. so whether i freak out and ride a bus home or ride out the evening in good company, I am fucked either way. I am missing an ingredient that i have no name for. its not the MSGs either, I already thought of that as a good excuse. So after i grab a big plate of bar-b-que and chinese food its still there.
i know what youre thinking... that poor soul just needs love right? well, maybe. i dont think so though. i considered that too. not knowing what IT is exactly is starting to drive me towards wreckless ridiculousness and regret. ho hum

and you thought after reading all this you would find some resolve in my words. maybe not a happy ending but something to satisfy the curiousity? no you were ripped off, and that is just how i feel right fucking now.

as my boy Russell Simmons best said "thank you for coming out god bless you goodnight"