While I was waiting over here for life to begin I found myself wondering why I was here at all. All my adventures, pains, losses, loves, dreams, encounters, abuse, neglect, and ecstacies have brought me here today. I have never in my entire life felt so completely static and stuck. There is no reason that I can find to be in this city. Why am I here? Why did I think this would be a good decision moving here? I have no regrets in life but two. Moving here is one of them. I fucking hate this city. This is my pissed off post to balance out the more interesting, less angry ones. I feel so detached from everyone and everything important to me. I feel invisible again. I hate that feeling. I hate trying to fake normality. Not that I dont want others to be happy but I am not being me when I put on that smiley faced mask. I fucking hate this city. I hate the thick waves of ignorance and close-minded religious Overtones that float through every crevice of Jacksonville.
April 05th, 2007
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