Monday, April 16, 2007

Celebration of the Seasons - 3rd dream

I find myself thrust out of a dark doorway and into an even darker alley. I can see light around the corner so I follow it. The city in front of me quickly replaces my uneasiness with feelings of curiousity and mischief. Every time I go out for a night on the town I have this powerful sense of being bad, or wanting to be bad. Though I have this desire I don't end up doing anything notable most of the time I am out. I feel ready to play and pounce on any fun opportunity I find in this unfamiliar city. The streets are masterfully designed cobblestone and I think of historic St. Augustines Old Candy Shoppe. There are no neon lights to be seen but the street is lit well. Varieties of colored lanterns and phospherous fueled lamps add life to the sceneries otherwise dull hues. I can't fix a specific locale to this place I have stumbled into but I know I have seen it all before. The people that fill this quarter mile stretch of nightlife all wear masks. Some of these masks are small accessories to an elaborate ensemble while other masks are huge grotesque entities that mute everything else about the person wearing it. They are made of any number of materials, including precious stones and even human skin. The people aren't interested in chatting with a stranger such as myself. I wouldn't say they are rude so as much as preoccupied. I don't mind. I am enjoying taking it all in while I walk. Having to talk to someone would only force me to be distracted from whatever it is that I am looking for. I am looking for something, this is certain, and I have no clue as to what it could be. I keep on not minding. The shops and store windows are too dark to see into but a sliver of light or reflecting adornment tells me that there must be people inside as well as out here where I am. Is this night a celebration or just one of many other social nights? There is the always the masquerade theme to consider.

I quickly manuever around a gang of children whose whirlwind of conversation and games led them into my direct path and this is when I first notice something strange. I can't understand what the children are saying. It sounds like something I could comprehend but I cant make out a single word. I couldnt say if it was English, Spanish, Japanese or Pig Latin. I just don't know. I stop and take in my surrounding on a more suspect level, now looking for other things to not make sense. Nothing stands out. Everything looks, smells and sounds wonderful. Everything except those kids. I decide to turn back and follow the children hoping to find that I was wrong about their voices. The kids are already half way up the next block and turning into an alley. I won't chase them. I turn again and continue on my original path down the steadily downhill sloping street. I walk by a couple kissing at a table and ask for directions to the nearest ATM. The couple says nothing to me, only glancing in my direction before continuing to suck and kiss on each others faces, so I sit down at the table one down from them and look off in the opposite direction. I am hoping that I will catch a word in between kisses and coos. A few silent minutes pass and I decide to give these lovers more privacy. Looking to my right I see a large group of people making ridiculous gestures. They look friendly enough so I walk in their direction which is about a block away from this lovers patio. Arriving directly in front of the rowdy crowd I am left with a sense of dread. The voices are all mixed together sounding like a river of music formed by a thousand different languages. A short dark skinned girl trips on her own dancing feet and stumbles in to my arms. She lightly springs back and smiles, her lips releasing that flow of delicious gibberish, her eyes connecting with a primal urge to "get down with the get down". Her mask, which is a beautiful replica of her own eyes, covers her freckled cheeks and nose only. I recover from my shock and tell her I can't understand what she is saying. She laughs and points to her mask. I shrug my shoulders. I don't know what I am doing without a mask. She turns back to her friends and says something that looks like a farewell and then returns to me. She takes my hand, turns it palm up and kisses the center. This sends tingles up my arm until reaching my heart where it then dissapates slowly throughout my being. I see her hand raising and so I do the same to her. This must be some sort of greeting. When I kiss her palm my lips go numb and she seems to be embarrassed by my actions. I try my best to seem sure of myself. As soon as I think this uncomfortable situation will last forever it ends. She takes my hand again and starts walking back up the hill. I look down to see she is wearing a sheer material that I can see right through. There is meticulous metallic scrollwork sewn throughout this garment, but it does not try to hide her more delicate features. I try to block her swaying hips out of my mind. She leads me to a large gate made of a dark red wood. The double doors are open to the inside wall and are tied back with vines. We walk through the gate and enter a small open air antiroom. In the back corner there is one table and one chair. I see no doors connected to the wall behind us. She directs me to sit in the chair so I do. She effortlessly jumps onto the table and crosses her legs in one fluid movement. I can only stare into her brown eyes which are now level with my own. The girl asks me a question. I shake my head. She cocks her head to the side and stares at me intently. She then lightly grazes over my hairline, my shoulder, my chest, my arms with her hands. I continue staring into her eyes as this examination proceeds. She gestures for me to stand up so I do. She rummages through my pockets in an almost too playful way pulling out a pink seashell from my left pocket and a short piece of yellow rope from my right. She rises to look directly into my eyes again and repeats the question I didn't understand a moment ago. I shake my head no and her face wrinkles into disappointment. She jumps off the table and gestures for me to remove my shoes so I do. I untie my Adias and place them on the table. The girl picks them up and turns them over simultaneously. White sand pours out from them and on to the ground. "Can you hear me now?" She says in a voice that is deep, sexy and raw. I stand there staring at her unable to respond. At this point she begins to unbuckle my pants and remove my shirt all at the same time and with a great determination.

I yell "Hey what are you doing now?" and she the stops unbuttoning abruptly.

"Why didn't you say something when you could understand me?"

"I don't know why. I was in shock. I am sorry. My name is JBee and I don't know how I got here. I don't know why I don't have a mask or why everyone else does have a mask. I don't know why I have a rope, shell or sand in my shoes either. I need a drink and then I need to go home. Again, I am sorry."

"So, you are sorry and you need to go home. I say you are confused and have no need to apologize. Maybe I should apologize." She looks to the ground in between our feet. "This is all kinda my fault since I brought you here. It is something I will explain to you in as much detail as I can, but not right now. You have to have your signet on to be here so that is most important."

She looks at me and then looks into her hands at the shell and rope. She places the rope on the table behind her and squeezes the shell inside her closed palms. When her hands open again, there are two identical shells in both hands. The rope is traced along the shells exterior and then placed into my own hands. The shells are now connected by yellow rope. It reminds me of a makeshift mermaid bra. "I don't have to wear this like a bra do I?" "No retard" she says with a half smile. " Place the shells where they belong, you know where that is. Do it now." I take both shells and place one on both sides of my face. The rope is connected loosly underneath my chin. Without support of any kind, the "signet" stays on my face when I lower my hands. She approves. Her smile is so big that I can see she has a beautiful set of sparkling white teeth. "What is your name?" I ask her. "My friends call me Artisesse. My lovers call me repeatedly." I laugh. "You can call me Sesse." It sounds like she is saying Say Say. I put my shoes back on and tie them up. She kisses my palm again, takes my hand and leads me back out to the street. "Where are we going now?" I ask. Sesse points towards the sky beyond the bottom of the hill to a lake nestled around thousands of Magnolia trees decorated with red lanterns. The shiny leaves of the tree make the red glow look even brighter. Blooming white flowers cover the ground around the trunks of these ancient guardians. I soak all of this is in and look back at her. She copies the rest of the people lined along the road by sitting down right where we are on the cobblestone. I do the same. No one is speaking any longer. The children I ran into earlier are sitting quietly a dozen feet downhill from us, transfixed by the sky and lake beyond. I patiently watch nothing happen. I notice that fireflies are blinking above the water. There must be thousands of them too to make it glow like it does. The water starts to ripple along the edges and turn counter clockwise like it is emptying into an unseen drain below. The funnel creates a hole in the center of the lake. All of the fireflies are quickly sucked into it. Out of the swirling hole a white dragon leaps into the air, its body long, thin and irridecent. Its eyes glow a gold color that match its long flowing hair and horns. Its mouth is open roaring the same language I heard before I found my signet. The dragon figure-eights above the water and circles into a blurring frenzy. I realize I am squeezing Sesse's hand a little too hard but she doesn't seem to notice. The dragon rises higher into the sky and through the clouds. I can only hear its roar spreading across the sky. Sesse squeezes my hand so tightly that I think I might say something to her. I don't have a chance though. The clouds mirror the water below and the dragon submerges from the sky and is now as black as onyx. Its eyes, hair and horns are still golden. The dragon begins racing up the hill along the street we are sitting on. It is not more than six feet from the ground. Sesse pulls me up and places my left hand in air. She places her right hand in the air next to mine, only a bit lower due to our height differences. The dragon flies above us in a rush of heat and an overpowering smell of magnolia flowers. My hand slides along the slippery black scales that feel cool to the touch. Once the dragon passes, I turn my head to follow its path and it has reached the top, disappearing over the edge of the massive hill. The street is covered in red: the people, the buildings, the trees, everything. I look down to Sesse who is covered in what looks like blood and she says "That was your very first Celebration of the Seasons. I hope you enjoyed it. Please keep your seats in upright position and your lap belts secure until all safety lights have been turned off."

"What the fuck was that Sesse?" I ask in wild bewilderment. "Celebration of the Seasons, your first, my twenty ninth, the only one until next year this time. Will you be my date next year too handsome?" She bats her eyelashes at me dramatically. I slide my hand behind her back and lift her in the air hugging her tightly. I am as scared as I am overjoyed and I think this blood is having an effect on me too. I feel as if I am rolling on a really good ecstacy pill. Sound is tangible, touch is electric. I am full of emotion and love for this place, for this girl, for the dragon. I start to kiss her. She laughs while sliding her tongue around the corners of my own mouth, teasing all the while. I don't know what to do. I am unable to think clearly any longer. I grab her thighs and lift her to my hips. She responds with equal pressure at first then slides her legs into a crossed position atop of my stomach. She takes my chin in her left hand and places her right hand onto my chest, giving me one last hard kiss before pulling away. I stand holding her cradled in my hands. She only stares at me. "Sesse, why did you stop?" I say with much effort. Sesse reaches over to my ear and whispers to me "You are not from here silly. If I was to become pregnant by you that would be cataclysmic in both of our worlds. You won't understand right now but believe me, it just can't happen." I am pained at the fact that we wont be having sex. The emotional wave is still coming in crashing bouts every couple seconds. I want to argue but know she is telling me the truth. I can see it in her eyes. I place my hands under her armpits and she unfolds her legs to a standing position. I gently place her back onto the ground, trying to resist touching her again. She slowly turns from me and starts walking down the hill. I follow. It is hard to keep my eyes off of her. I glance at others I pass and want to touch them too. Everyone is obviously feeling the same as I am. There is kissing and groping going on everywhere I look. I think of the movie Eyes Wide Shut and laugh loudly at my ridiculousness. A pair of feather masked women snap thier heads towards me in unison and stalk up to my side with the longest legs I have ever seen. The two women are identical in every way that I can see. One kisses my palm and the other groans "Too bad" into my ear. I am left with major tingles again. Sesse is gaining speed now and almost runs down the street towards the lake. I blindly follow her, not caring where my shoes land or if I trip and fall into a broken mess. Once we reach the bottom I see the land is flat and the grass is tough. The green is almost too bright, reminding me of Astroturfs color. From around the corner of the first buildings that line the street people emerge carrying an orchestra of instruments. Some are playing them as they walk towards the grassy area in front of the lake, others are setting up the equipment as the reach their destination. Sesse courtsies to me so I bow as best as I think a bow should be done. She takes my hands and we dance for hours. Everyone from up the hill has joined us dancing and laughing, talking about how great the New Year is going to be. A world of flowers, fireflies, blood and music spin around me as we all dance. I have never felt so at home in my life yet I am the farthest from it that I have even been before.

I am awoken the next morning by sprinkles of rain falling onto my closed eyelids. The effects of the blood are lessened but still noticable. Sesse is lying half way on my chest and half way on the grass. She is waking too and looks at me with compassion and care. There are a few people lying in the grass and around the massive trees. "Why did you tell me it was your fault?" I ask her. Sesse squares her jaw and inhales deeply. "This is your parallel universe. It belongs to you and everyone has there very own. Everything you see and feel and touch in your world is represented here. Everything you want in a perfect world is found here." I open my mouth to interject, she only lays a slim finger over my lips. "That doesn't mean that you are a God or something here. You can't change the rules already set in this world and you won't understand everything you experience here either. I can't explain everything to you because I don't know everything. I am smart but I'm not a genius. This world is as complex and deep as your own and similar in many ways. There are some things that are completely different as you have already seen."

"But that doesnt answer my"

She cuts me off "I dont remember you being this impatient in my dreams. Damn it JBee. When you dream you come here. You are visiting some part of this world every time you close your eyes. I am your connection to this world by soul."

"So does that mean I am dreaming?"

"I dont know. I am almost positive you are awake. This is what bothers me"

"Are we soulmates then?"

"I wouldn't label it as that. In the literal definition of soul mates, no, we couldn't be." She removes her mask and places it in a pocket near her silky thighs. "I think that my calling you, my wishing you to be here for the Celebration of the Seasons somehow bent the rules enough to bring you here in the flesh. It takes a great amount of power to accomplish something like that. I know I was pretty down and out when I was thinking of you being here but I never expected this to happen!"

"So we could have sex in our dreams but not now, due to my being real."

"Of course you can have sex in your dreams man, don't you have sex in your dreams?" She tussles my hair around a bit.

"No, never" I respond with as serious a face as I can muster. "So I am here, possibly in the flesh, which is not a good thing, and you don't know how I go home from here."

"Exactly. I already apologized so don't be bringin old shit up."

"So because this is my world, per say, is that why you say a lot of the same phrases I do?"

"Not exactly." She stretches out on the grass revealing her slim waste and ample hips. Her hair is dark auburn with strands of gold. Thick and shiny ringlets crawl past her waste like vines in a tanned rainforest. She has all the tattoos I have ever drawn for myself and then some. I force myself to stay focused. 

"I am the equivelent of an extention of you in this world", she states, "I am the only one here that is connected to you this intimately. There are other languages and other cultures. People here are as unique as in your world. There are saints and serial killers, martyrs and muppets. It is no different in that way from your own world."

"Why haven't I dreamt of you then? If you are dreaming of me all the time shouldn't I be connected in that same way?" Sesse barely blushes. I set myself up for embarrassment again. She rolls onto her side and plays with the overly green grass blades.

"Every time you have dreamt of a woman it was me. I only appeared to look like others. We have been lovers since your first wet dream, big boy." I think back to the very first one. She speaks quiety and at a controlled pace as if seeing it all as she goes. "You were standing in tall swaying grasses. It was night outside and flash lightening covered the sky. The rain drops were fat and cold. I was the female ninja you faced, fought and later had sex with in that dream." A rush of sexual memories come to my mind all at once and I am really blushing now. She only laughs at me and brushes off the flowers and grass that cling to my shirt. "I am your parallel soul. I give you exactly what you want sexually, no matter what your desire, but I gotta tell ya..." She stands and starts to walk away "You are one filthy bastard!" I start laughing and can't stop. I laugh until my sides ache and tears roll down my cheeks. I need sanctuary. I need serendity. I think I've finally gone completely mad.

I remove my signet and tuck the shells and rope into my front jeans pocket. I breath in the smell of the flowers deeply and watch Sesse walk to a shop nearby. The building is dark green with gold trim and has a sign hanging from a post that reads "Fruits and Shit". There is smoke wafting from the chimney above and a heron is bending its long neck deep into the bellowing smoke. A few minutes pass and Sesse returns with a basket full of what looks like fruits. She also brought bread wrapped in cloth napkin. I tell her to look at the bird. She responds hesitantly. "Yeah he's a junkie for the vapors man. Don't go introspective on me but I guess I have to tell you. This is your world right? OK. That means that all of your good intentions are here as well as your bad ones. There are addicts and murderers here. Place your range of possible personas on a scale. Left side is Good, right side is Bad. You have here in this world every combination of that scale -and then some- that can be imagined. It helps not to think of it too much. It will only have you looking for the worst in every person you meet, eventually hating yourself completely. Think of them as your creative psyche versus your bastardly short-comings."

"And the sign? What kind of shop owner would use that as a name?"

"The kind that has a sense of humor like yours. The more important a thing to you, the more you find it in this world. To you, humor is very important in your life so, naturally, here you find your twisted morals splashed on every wall. Don't think I am complaining. I'm your biggest fan." Her smile reminds me my own for split second.

"I see. One more question Sesse."

"I doubt that."

"How do you know so much? I saw people that didn't know me from Adam last night. Did someone teach you all the rules and regulations of JBee land?"

Sesse take a bite of fruit that looks like a cross between a pineapple and cantaloupe. The sticker on it reads: Pinaloupe. I laugh out loud. "Just as you are hearing it come from my lips I hear it for the first time too, for the most part. I don't know how I know these things. I just accept that I do. When I don't know the answer to a question I don't get pissed off, I just accept it as is."

"So you are the patient, laid back side of me. You have no faults or misgivings?" I question with a smile to keep from sounding harsh.

"I am your every desire. I am who you want in bed. I am who you want to be spiritually, mentally, physically -no- not physically. Your desire for delicious sex is stronger than a sense of needing a set of Brad Pitts abs."

"You got that right. If I had to choose only one over the other, I would be a disgusting fatty who got laid all day."

"Who are you talking to meester? I'm the one with the kick ass body. Thanks for the junk in my trunk. This is my meeeeal ticket!" Sesse laughs while doing a quick booty dance. "Do you think I need so much hair though? This mess is a real skank to brush through in the morning."
I almost feel for her, as that is a whole lot of hair. "I will think about it but I can't promise any changes sweetheart."

"Good enough for me. Wanna go somewhere?"

"Sure. Hook me up with some of that pinaloupe and kiwiberry first. I am starving."

4/16/2007

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